One Topic (Now Known As Potato Sandwich)

Neighbors

Maybe you’re lucky enough to live on an isolated plot of land where the nearest person is six hours away by horseback. Most of us, however, share proximity with others, sometimes for the positive, sometimes for the negative. Autumn and Greg explore this wide range with tales of lovable weirdos and disdainful jerks.

Needs

Greg is in denial, incapable of admitting he's an animal. There's nothing more disgusting, in his mind, than being a filthy creature who thinks it's better than all the other filthy creatures solely because it is capable of thinking at a higher level. Part of the defense mechanism that comes along with this stressor is that he believes he has no needs. Only animals have needs, so if he has none, it surely means he's not an animal, or so the logic goes.

 

Autumn, meanwhile, is a healthy, well-adjusted, stable animal. She has needs, and has no problem sharing what those needs are. 

 

Greg thinks Autumn is gross.

Hobbies

Some stupid hobbies that people think are funny could be listed here: Something about goat shearing or lint collecting. We’ll leave that for the hack shows, though.

Hobbies are a good way to distract from the ever-passing time; time that ultimately leads to death. Autumn and Greg take a look at ways to distract yourself from mortality.

Video Games

Braggart she is, Autumn kept showing off, sending Greg videos of her playing her video game emulator, which contains a library of all NES, SNES, Sega Genesis, Atari 2600, and TurboGrafx-16 games. Even when he begged her to stop, blind with envy, she persisted. It’s this happening that served as the inspiration for this week’s show.

Judging

"I don't judge. I'm far too evolved and superior to engage in such unrefined behavior." 

 

-WokeAintNoJoke1987, from the "Advanced Maturity" subreddit, January 2019

 

In response to WokeAintNoJoke1987: I saw your profile picture. An asymmetrical haircut, dyed green...wow, so original! And that shirt...THAT SHIRT!...what in the hell were you thinking? Also, it looks like you have bad breath. There's obviously no way I'd be able to tell without physically being next to you, but I'd be willing to bet you've got it and it stinks to high heaven.

 

There's no escaping judgment. Whether you're dishing it or receiving it, its existence persists. And that's okay. We all judge, some more than others, fueled by a variety of reasons, which is the basis of exploration for this week's episode. Hopefully Autumn and Greg will set you free to judge to your heart's content.

 

 

Hygiene

Autumn is gross. Greg is disgusting. That's the conclusion from this episode, which is all about hygiene. You'll either feel better about your existence after listening, knowing you aren't alone in your subpar self-care habits, or you'll be completely repulsed and horrified. Eh...respect wasn't high to begin with, so really, what's there to lose?

Guests

Autumn visited Greg in New York, which induced a flood of anxiety. Being a guest - if you're a decent, thoughtful human being - can be a nerve-wracking experience. How much time do you request of the person you're visiting? How do you make sure you don't over-stay your welcome? And if you're the one who is being visited, what obligations must you fulfill, and to what extent? Autumn and Greg use this episode of One Topic to explore these most important and pressing issues.

Notes

For lack of a better title, this week's discussion is on notes. Autumn and Greg dig out their notebooks, scratch papers, journals, and phones to wade through the many writings that weren't meant for public consumption. You can bet it's going to get dark - it's just a matter of how much light is going to be lost. 

Making Friends as an Adult

You got old. And now you dislike many of your friends, having realized they're selfish scoundrels with whom you have nothing in common. They're only around because they've always been around, like a piece of old furniture. What are you to do? Is it okay to get rid of them, and if so, how are you supposed to make new friends as an adult?

 

In this week's episode, Autumn and Greg will help you navigate this treacherous terrain, using their own long-lasting friendship as a beacon to light the way.

Road Trips

Buckle up and settle in for the long haul. Autumn and Greg take the scenic route, covering everything that comes along with a road trip: snacks, pee breaks, music, road rage, truck stop showers...join them for the ride.